Jay Ruzesky Unsplash
Years ago, my ex convinced me that I didn’t have anything to say, that my voice didn’t matter. I’ve been struggling with writing Writerly Things because of this. It’s hard to let go of that constant criticism even though it’s been a long time, his voice still waits to condemn me when I try and do something more. I hope to combat this by calling this now Everyday Things. It will open up the topics I can talk about and hopefully get a good rhythm going. I may interchange it with Writerly Things as the mood demands.
First up: TV Shows.
One of the TV shows that had the most impact on me was Buffy: the Vampire Slayer. She stood up to the monsters, fought back, and won. This had a HUGE influence on me. It was her that gave me the strength to leave my ex. At the same time, on the show, Angel had become Anjelus. When I saw what she was going through, it mirrored my own life. I knew that to be safe, to beat the monsters in my own life, I had to stand up for me and my two small children. So, somehow, I found the strength to kick my ex out. It still wasn’t safe where I lived. His relatives and friends lived on either side of me. The only other tenant was a single woman who didn’t dare help me for fear of retaliation. It was hard but watching that show, each week gave me the determination to seek a way out. Eventually, I got out of that area and through my own resources bought a house elsewhere.
There are so many funny, sad, and joyful moments of watching Buffy. I still watch this show on the disks I bought of it. I will always be grateful to the character for showing me that you can bring hope into your life. Things aren’t peachy now but they’re a darn sight brighter than back then.
Supernatural came along and took me for a ride into learning the life of a hunter, what family meant, how you sometimes go the distance even when it hurts to. This is the show that gave me the inspiration for my current WIP. I’ve enjoyed reading Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Tanith Lee and others for a long time and this show helped me take writing as a viable option when I thought my life was set in the boring walls of a factory. Before I’d written and had some success with short stories up until the point of my marriage, during which my ex discouraged me from putting my attentions to anything other than him. This show got the bug started again. I was SO siked to be able to write and just be who I was always meant to be. When Sam and Dean went across country “doing the family business” I cheered them on as I continued to fight my own monsters in life.
One thing this taught me: you never know someone’s journey. Where they’ve been, where they’re going. Everyone finds their own way. It took me a while, and I’ve still got a ways to go, but I’ll get there just fine. I know how to fight monsters and win.