Mary shared her One-Liner Wednesday featuring a Mittens meme, and it cracked me up.

I’m so glad my cats don’t text me.

If they did:

Cletus would send videos all day, “Look at me! Are you watching? Mama, Mommy, Mooohhm! Look at me, chewin the ends of this spider plant! Mmm, nom nom! Watch me jump from the top of the fridge and land on the oven mitts! Kerflop! Woot! Look Ma, I’m surfin!”

Clara would send heart emojis and cries for affection, like some insecure girlfriend. “Do you still love me? Can you love me from there? When will you be home to love me? I bet you like reading without my butt in your face, don’t you? I don’t mean it, I’m sorry, I love you. Do you still love me?”

I imagine Catticus might make witty commentary throughout the day. Deeply existential thoughts about chickens and fishes…

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