In My Element


It’s Friday and it was supposed to snow. It didn’t snow. It did get below freezing. It’s not only sweater weather now, it’s maybe-wear-a-coat weather, too. I likey. Don’t hate me. I was born this way.

People always be like, “It’s cause you’re still young” and “It’s because you’re overweight” or “It’s the hormones.” Stop that shit. It’s cause I like cold weather and hate to be hot. Period. Been this way all my life, and y’all, if you can imagine, I’ve been younger — too young to blame hormones, and at some points, downright skinny, and I have always, always, always hated to be hot.

You can look at pictures of juvenile me and see it plain as day. Pictures of me at summer camp — you can pick me out easy — in a sea of tan, glistening blondes, I am the red-faced ghost. If I am wearing…

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