Writerly Things…5/6/19 How to Keep Getting Up When Life Gets You Down
Recovering from illness/accident/surgery:
I’ve done all of these in the last two years. I face another surgery on the sixteenth and a biopsy at the end of the month. I get my stitches out for the second surgery this Tues. The illness will be ongoing as it is bipolar and anxiety. I never realized I had anxiety until this past winter. I have a hard time with driving in the snow and ice. I fret on it all day and weeks before a snowstorm happens. Worry is a constant companion and it grates on my nerves. Another thing that makes me anxious is crowds. I can be out in them and as long as they’re not paying me attention, I’m fine; but the moment, it feels like I’ve done something to become the center of attention, I have to breathe in and out and calm myself. I can talk to others perfectly fine as long as it’s a few people or so, but I struggle to stay focused when more close in.
What Makes Me Go On:
My faith is the biggest factor. When you have Jesus in your life, it helps to ground you, as well as to help you soar. He comforts you in times of crisis and finds a way to get around it. If he doesn’t, then a new door is opening and it’s time to try another way. Once, I thought life was over for me when I had to leave college, but then new dreams came to replace the old. The second time I felt like this was when my marriage ended, and the kids and I were on our own. I thought I needed to let go of my dreams to make a life for us. So, I buried my writing for years, not looking back.
When I went to therapy, I was encouraged to write down my thoughts. As I did so, part of the yearning to write returned. It wasn’t long before I was playing with story details, bringing things to life. I went back to learning my craft. I’m still studying today and improving. My foggy brain because of the bipolar doesn’t allow me to retain a lot at times but I keep on going through, relearning when I have to. Reading helps a lot.
What makes me go on in the tragedies? Faith. My kids. My family. Friends. Believe in myself. We all face hard times but not alone. Have a great day, take care, and God bless!